Category Archives: The Revolution

COP21: Trump Belches Death.

So, the DT cabal are aiming to pull out of the Paris Climate Agreement joining Syria (understandable, being now a pile of rubble) and Nicaragua (who challenged that it didn’t go far enough), on the very bottom rung and outside of the most hopeful global surge to save ourselves; to save animals, creatures, forests, wilderness, oceans, food sources, and available water from absolute, total, freaking wipe out.

This is the monstrous face of American power unveiled. Fuelled by an insane, nasty, stupid, boorish, violent, reckless, tantrum two-year old in chief. Marched along by white supremacists, fearful misogynists, Frankensteinian apocalyptic fetish fucks (take a bow Bannon), arms trading ghouls, and funded by billionaire oligarchs that have as much ethical empathy as a piece of shite.

And my dear home country Britain. Stop the Tories or be dragged along in America’s destructive, degrading, and despicable wake, which means loosing any remaining threads of caring social fabric because all your hard worked resources will sink into an endless financial bog of endless funding for the bombing of endless brown people. It will mean endless ratcheting up of militaristic policing and endless hyper-ventilating surveillance systems on the home front to ward off endless terrorist-lost-boys manipulated by sick soulless bastards who haunt dry desert hearts with the vomit from Saudi Arabia, funded of course by the UK/USA, (the UKSA, USKA, KUSA??)

This, our crashing colonial empire, shoring up its racist rule, it’s fear based legislation to stop demographic change, its enshrined denial of genocide and slavery, its repression of feminist power, its twisted grasping built on centuries of systemic plunder from our “Christian” 17th century European rationalizing “enlightenment” that divorced nature, that objectified and categorized every last wild, free, thing. Its nazi eugenics, its master race madness. Behold, here is our perverse, pickled, stunted child-man “saviour” arrived at its zenith.

Here’s what he offers – Death.
Well good.

We have to see the depth of depravity, of senseless destruction, the structural ground of our Eurocentric five hundred year gallop through Indigenous lands, our decimating stride through millions of brown and black people, our puritanical drive toward fetid, in-house patriarchal white bloodline notions ending in crematoriums, our inward depressed, addicted, collapse, and our craven sucking of the greenback dollar.

We are not only that. Of course we did good, great, and beautiful things too. But right now, we are that.

We have to feel into that groping man-child, what it is built on, the ingestion of it into our cellular structures handed down through breast milk, learnt guilt, compliance, collusions. We have to know it is also us. Enabled by our wafty movement to spiritual things while not seeing what we need to see because it’s all rather coarse. Here’s some news. Our high flying leaps will not save us. We have to enter the fray, the mess, to get it wrong, to fall onto our knees, to not know or have all the answers … again and again.

Anyhow we can’t avoid the fall.

Because, clearly we have to be more shaken down – to the core – to the bone – to the gut-wrenching realization that we are so on the line that there’s only one way out.

Find that way.
Listen.

Listen to your heart as she surges with the energy of the Earth’s immune charge to revolt. Follow her, speak out, say it. Throw off that “oh, it’s not nice”, “oh, I won’t be approved”, “oh, someone won’t like me.” Listen to oppressed peoples. Because they know. Read how they survived, how they sacrificed, how they won.

Join together in the resistance because everything we love depends on it. Do it now, with each breath, with each action moving the tide to reclaim our collective aching soul. Don’t do it for yourself.  Do it for the children, for the animals, for the Earth. For the precious sentiency of the web of life.

Do it because it needs to be done.

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Standing Up to Patriarchy’s Last Stand (and looking after ourselves at the same time.)

Just as the ocean’s salty water taken into clouds turns sweet, the stable mind works to benefit others; turning poison into healing nectar.  — Saraha

My sabbatical was supposed to start in October, but like multitudes of others, it’s been “all hands on deck” for the emergency of the election, Standing Rock, and now the psychopathic Blitzkrieg strategy exploding around us. What a truly appalling time. It feels like the air is being sucked out of the planet; each day it’s a little harder to breathe.

This acute crisis, initiated by a reptilian consciousness that truly disorders ones brain, is having us dig deep into our resources. As the poisonous millennia of patriarchy, misogyny, white supremacy, and predator colonialism born of divisive consciousness spews forth, we cannot avoid the full measure of the beast. It’s clear that to defeat this sadistic and wanton regime of hate, we have to dig deep enough to find our passion for love and life. We have to really want to fight for HER within us all. The planet, the compassionate, caring, merciful, inclusive, collaborative, healing, world of our future.

We have to allow the immune system of nature to rise up through us like the Kundalini roar of thousands of voices from rivers of people in the pouring rain while surging down Market Street in San Francisco into the night of the phenomenal Woman’s March. My body will never forget emerging from the subway into that surge, carried by the sheer exhilaration of our passion, power, and determination.

So, there’s the marches, the petitions, phone calls, money to ACLU and the like, collaboration, sharing, facebooking, boycotting, divesting, getting in shape, reading up, listening to African Americans and Indigenous folks who have been at this shite forever, and then there’s the long arc ahead of us. For what’s coming I need to drop out of the river of this first surge for a while to digest, recoup and regather. Forgive me for not being visible for a while, but be reassured, you, who are feeling this, whose heart is breaking, who is moving to defend what we need to protect, you are in my heart.

And, it is all in my heart, in all our hearts. All is resident within the shared field of our aware undivided consciousness. In other words, this is an intimate world. The beauty and the beast dwell right here intwined. And so it is here, into the silence, the deep listening, the meeting of demons and angels where we can also work. Energetically, prayerfully, ceremonially through connecting with ancestors, forces of spiritual power, and the Dharma. In this journey we welcome it all. We become a conduit for the deeper intelligence of awareness so it can guide, inform, and engage through our bodies, hearts and minds.

This is our evolutionary journey. The collective shadow and the collective intelligence have brought us to this momentous moment. We do what we can to save us all, but let’s also remember to take care of ourselves. When some of us step to one side, others will carry the torch, when others need a breather, we will pick that torch up. Because it’s a long road ahead. We will have to help each other. Together, with our hearts aligned, we will find courage and resilience way beyond what we ever thought possible.

So I’ll catch you later. If you find what I write supportive, then check out the book I wrote  Time To Stand Up. It’s for these times. You will find something there to nourish, to bring courage, to inspire, but also to be utterly realistic. We do what we can, but whatever happens, whatever gets destroyed, we must know, trust, that our heart, our conscious spirit is, in reality, indestructible.

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The Higher Dream: Keep it Safe. Speak Its Voice.

You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere.
– Ursula Le Guin, The Dispossessed.

I woke with fragments of a dream. A dream that confirmed the knowing of bodies that feel the blow; the dread, wrath, and fear. We didn’t need it confirmed, but it’s now crystal clear. Those, in their intoxicated vacuous soulless state, who try to fill their bottomless hovel of a heart with power, money, and control of it all, have no capacity for grace or love. They have not an iota of adoration for the guiding ethos of a higher dream. A dream hijacked over and over through millennia by the ones who crave and usurp power. It’s a very old story; the difference is that now the destiny of the planet is at stake. Alongside a mean agenda to shred civil society, the willful misinformation and denial of global warming is a hideous crime and primordial sin. 

In my night dream, reluctance pulls. I must stay hidden in the crowd. But the urge to move is greater. I walk toward a platform and microphone. I have to say something. I wobble with each step, vulnerable. Words dissolve before reaching my tongue. I keep moving. I stand before a Senate Floor, a Parliament, Knesset, Federation, Duma, before the .01% faceless power players … appealing. From beyond the platform I look out to a grey, thick, fog rolling in. The last begging words that surface into pre dawn darkness, “I ask you to reconsider.” Awake. Move to the meditation mat, light a candle, soften into the grief, feel moist eyes, and breathe. Breathe – feel – breathe….

Mindfulness of the breath, sub kaya pati samvedi. All body – through (strive-mastery) – wholly feeling. (Anapanasati Sutta) Be mindful within breath by entering through direct feeling inside embodied experience. This is the feminized version of mindfulness. The patriarchal version is more toward an abstracted, clinical, disembodied watching that maintains the observers subtle, superior gaze. Both seem to have a place. But to simplify and fast track; the first has the pitfall of entangling, but has the potential to lead into the emptying intimate gestalt with it all; the nourishing Eros of embodied completion. The second lifts us from the mess, but tends to leave us empty and prone to falling into aloof disconnect, spiraling the self-structure into an endless need for affirmation. I set up my mindfulness stall and sell you techniques so I can be seen. (I am not judging. I have the craving need.)

The point is balance. The reclamation of the lost feminine within us all is vital. She is the instinctive knowing of the sacred interconnection of all things. She is the power of the imaginative that births the creative. She relates through participation, bounteousness, and collaboration rather than dominance, withholding, and control. She is the Anima Mundi, the Soul of the World. We have to actualize her power to offset this tip into psychopathic shadow patriarchy with its mission to destroy the life-giving creativity that it wants so badly. But it cannot have what it craves to control. When you don’t know or trust anything beyond ego walls, you can’t enter the tender pathways of love. Putrid patriarchs can’t get filled, so they have to grab. They have to control women’s reproductive rights, squash the joyful freedoms of the LGBT community, and push back POC into dungeons of white fear cages. Shadow Kings can only plunder and sell nature through their sadistic prostitution of Eros in faceless shopping Malls, (abetted by our sleepy collusion.) They have nothing of beauty to give.

But, she, the Anima Mundi, the Sacred Feminine, Mother Nature, has enduring power. You will know her energy coursing in your veins as outrage, courage, and the unending intent to be here for everyone, regardless. You will know her by the anguish you feel at the desecration of our ecosystems. You will know her by the insistent voice within and around you that speaks, that shouts out, refusing to collude any longer. So accept the full impact of what is felt. The disturbance and the nightmares that haunt are the barometer of what the deeper soul already knows; the threat is real and deadly. 

From therapeutic process we know the body remembers everything. When we are threatened, trans-marginal stress is activated. That means the usual coping mechanisms that subdue intolerable feelings, are breached. When that happens, the pain of devastating wounds to sensitivity from early on (baby and preverbal), are activated. The abandoned unformed agony held in the body, can, in a finger snap, spin into a self-other harming fest of paranoia, rage, frozenness, and suicidal hopelessness. The self-structure, losing all sense of ground, can spiral into a disorientated fog. We need to remember that the tweeting President Elect, through his daily rants of idiocy and abuse, displaces the inordinate pain held within his shattered soul by projecting it onto our collective body. In doing so, he ignites our shared trans-marginal stress over and over. So, be mindful, be steady. Hold your ground.

We are not victims, receptacles for the pain of Shadow Kings. We, as the resistance, are awakening the power of soul. We must invoke her rise, her power. Allow her voice to come through, even in the face of the vulnerable, wobbling, walk to the platform. As I grew up, I had no voice. I hardly knew I existed. As a teenager, I once painted myself as a wisp behind an ill-fitting mask. I was someone who hid, until her voice started to rise. Ironically, the real catalyst was the excruciation of misogynistic monastic Buddhism within which I had encapsulated myself. There, her subdued voice, shaped within a prayerful mode, began its ascent. I sensed its power, its clarity, its depth, and ultimately, her ancientness.

She, as primordial intelligence, now urgently calls. She, the immune system of the planet, formidable Mother Nature, is about ready to roll over us. But, for a few more geological seconds, she begs us to come to our senses (literally), to feel her pounding heart, her awe-inspiring beauty, to desist from destruction through the passionate work of sacred reclamation. I believe, I suppose, that she, and us together, have brought our selves to this terrible mirror so we can fully study the reflection of our ego madness. Like the handsome portrait of Dorian Gray, hidden in the attic, so alluring, but only to be unmasked as the terrible, twisted sadist, there, underneath all along. How appalling to finally see the depth of our world’s soulless shadow grown over such a long time. But, let’s now finish here, scrambling around in the swamp of nightmarish trolls.

Last summer, in the gentle green pastures of England, Kittisaro and I met Anne Baring for tea. Five o’clock cake and tea, poured from a proper teapot into china cups in a hobbit land of cricket lawns, cottages, and pubs along the Chaucer pilgrimage route. Anne is a hero. She, as author and teacher, has produced a vital guide for our times in her magnum opus The Dream of the Cosmos. Anne expressed dismay that a Trump victory would shatter the higher dream of the whole world. That stark reality has come to pass, and her worst fear is now ours. But I’m wondering about a deeper intelligence beyond human fixation. Yes, a shattering will happen. But that shattering will also take down the false, which is the idea of a dominant and superior person or people that can take it all. What we are witnessing, I believe, is the last desperate stand of a colonizing, racist, misogynist, ego driven mindset that will ultimately fail because the false simply cannot endure.

We must quicken its demise by resisting its dangerous agenda, by organising to bring down its monopoly, and by continuing to midwife the new world struggling to be born. We are the midwives. We have to make sure the higher dream of humanity, the dream of our soul, is not still born, that the emerging child is not crushed under the feet of a fetid and jealous patriarch. That voices heralding the child’s arrival are loud and clear. It’s an endless journey, no doubt, but we must hold the faith. As the great man, Rev. King said, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”

Dedicated to Aloka – Petrus Willemse (Zimbabwe) Dec ’56 – Jan ’17

once-upon-a-time
Once Upon A Time by Judith Clay

11/9: The Day America Fell is The Day We Rise Up.

It’s been a very long night-day-evening-night (is it day or night?) … I can’t remember how long since the sinking and rising horror evoked by the disappearing blue and bleeping red states. As we grasped the straws of “urban votes still to come in”, it was the text from my friend that broke the spell, This is terrifying Thanissara! What is going on?! This, our most terrible nightmare, is going on.

This weekend isn’t the moment for strategies, (though Michael Moore’s Morning-After-To-Do-List is good.) First, we need a breather to feel what we need to feel – all of it. To let the full impact sink in. It is incredibly, incredibly painful. Words from my Facebook feed: scary, torn down, devastated, dark night, despair, rage, implode, collapse, praying, danger, damage, heart-break, robbed, coup d’etat, cracking, catastrophique et funeste, shocked, leaving U.S.A., I cannot believe, disconnect, armageddon, horrifying, toxic, etc, etc.

We have to allow the full cellular body blow of anxious, grief-rage waves of feeling so we really get the heart of this shadow energy that we emotionally feel, instinctively know, and intellectually appraise as a profound threat to all we hold dear. A friend just wrote the phrase “the age of the dangerous psychopathic masculine is breathing its last through many leaders, male and female, around the world.” This election result friends, is the deep cry of resistance at the heart of white supremacist patriarchy that knows it’s on history’s losing side. Yes, it is also from those who feel utterly run over in the march of Reagan-Thatcher neoliberal capitalism that has unhooked itself from ethical constraints, social responsibility, environmental care, and increasingly, from sanity and reality.

This shadow energy, that at its heart pulses with anger and disdain, is rippling around the world and finding its foothold through legitimisation by those politicians who crave power and greed. This, as succinctly termed by Van Jones, is the whitelash of our times, the attempt to “take back” what was put in place by colonialism, racial supremacy, and class division. This is an anger and sense of entitlement that justifies utter disregard for the vulnerable and marginalised. Except now, the vulnerable and marginalised is going to be pretty much everyone, even those who voted to try and hold onto the illusion of control.

The greatest loser from this election though, the most gut wrenching blow, the true victim of the ultimate witches hammer of inquisitional sadism, is our beautiful, and now deeply vulnerable Mother Earth and her innocent species. As new cabinet members are being lined up, we are bearing witness to the psycho-fest and ghoulish nightmare of the twisted and deformed soul at the heart of this shadow patriarchy. This shadow patriarchal mind set, now emboldened, is aiming to plunder her completely, to take it all. Friends, feel it, feel the utter grief and shock of what we have done.

We have to feel this full impact, this terrible dark night of the soul and planet, to know this shadow energy that is fast focalising in America’s halls of power, because we have to face down its tentacles within our own psyches. We have to feel the blow to be woken from our deepest recesses of denial and our lingering allegiance to our comfort zones that are literally costing the earth, and are throwing disenfranchised communities, people of color, immigrants, the poor, and future generations under the bus.

We have to wise up to how this shadow energy operates at systemic, psychological, political, legalistic, and emotional levels. How it psychopathy manipulates, divides, intimidates, and distorts our natural heart energy. How it seeks to control and destroy the soul for its own fetid gain. Friends, we have to know that the power elites, the corporate fossil fuel oligarchs now emboldened, the war machine marching to tunes of the debauched masculine and crazed feminine will not give up until there is nothing left; no beauty, no wild places, no humane, sensitive and dignified modalities of relationship, no sacredness.

We have to know that we have reached the bottom.

Only then can we be stripped down to our blazing true heart, our invincible courage, and to the absolute certainty of what actually counts; our love of each other, our willingness to sacrifice for each other, and the bedrock of our humanity, which is the ethical commitment to protect what needs to be protected — the environment, nature, all other species, each other.

So, this election has had the result of fast forwarding us into an urgent curriculum. These are some of its central themes:

  1. Keep the heart strong
  2. Gather together in sacred community
  3. Resist
  4. Organize
  5. Overcome the machine (sorry, I am friends, from the wave of the 1960’s!)

This is what we practice for. When times of crisis and extreme challenge is upon us. This, friends, is what mindfulness is ultimately for. To hold steady at the face of the inferno.

We are in uncharted territories… but the walk has been walked by heroes before. We have their blessing. Our ancestors are here, the legions of earth defenders, seen and unseen, are here. We will hear the guidance as we listen.. listen in, listen out, listen…

Listen, because we are exactly where we need to be. We are the immune system that has just been given shock therapy so it can rise up.

One more word from the twitter storm and facebook scroll of that dark night: A word my nephew in Dublin signed off on at the close of our WhatsApp, what the feck’s going on, chat.

Reality.

My friend Andrew Harvey says, “Let’s get real.” Friends, let’s get real. As real as we can. Our real hearts together will lead the way.

Before I wrote this, I didn’t know what would be written. As I sign off, I now know that for the first time I feel something as really true. It’s banded around as something we should feel, but frankly, while giving lip service, I wavered all over the place around this. But signing off, I realise there is a true bedrock that I now do authentically feel. It is encapsulated in this one word.

Hope.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever we’ve done — I love you, I love me, I love us all, and in this moment, I love the frightened heart of the “craving to be seen” vulnerable masculine, and the confused contraction of the disempowered feminine, within and without. So, yes, one last word for our revolution.

Love.

Take courage friends, show up, rise up, and with your blazing heart in full operational mode, together, let’s meet the challenge of our times.

Let’s do this thing!

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